Acting how I wanna be.

According to Hayles, “Embodiment is akin to articulation in that it is inherently perfomative, subject to individual enactments, and therefore always to some extent improvisational” (197). If in fact embodiment is action rather than a state of being, then I am actively trying to be who I am each and every day. Does this mean that I actually don’t know my family, friends, classmates for who they really are? And that the people I know are just active representations of the kind of people they hope to be? Am I this person because of a conscious decision I make each morning when I get out of bed? If so, then what of us who feel uncomfortable with who we are? Why is it that we sometimes choose to be someone we’re not that too fond of ourselves? Obviously, this is a question that is best answered with more questions. I feel like I am so many different people at different corners of my life. A brother and a son at one corner, then a friend and classmate at another—not to mention the other corners in between and along the way. Am I one of these more than the others? Or am I all of them presented in separate packages? If embodiment is an action then I am afraid that I am none of them—they’re all just how I “act” in certain aspects of my life. My apologies for all the questions, but the questions seem to be the clearest thing to me—if in fact we act rather than be.